Chasing Rainbows

There is a myth in parenting that it’s the parent’s job to make our kids always happy.

When I was in Ireland last year I saw many rainbows. When I think of the myth of making my kids happy, I am reminded that chasing rainbows never ends in a pot of gold.

When a child has a medical or developmental diagnosis, the happiness myth can sometimes go into overdrive.

We start to systematically fix our children to strive towards their happiness. We say if only my child could walk, starts to talk, makes a friend, then I will have done my job.

We believe that our parent job is achieved if the “thing” (diagnosis) is fixed because then our kids will be happy.

Guess what? Your kid is already happy just as they are.

Searching for the “fix” makes your brain think there is a happiness end in sight. Unfortunately, no amount of searching for the cure is going to fix your child’s diagnosis or their happiness.

The hard truth is happiness is a personal emotion that only the individual can obtain, and this includes our children.

No amount of fixing will make your kid happy, and it won’t make you happy either.

The energy you’re putting into trying to fix the diagnosis is making you miss out on the happiness right in front of you.

You are chasing the rainbow, but you already have the pot of gold.

Over the weekend reflect on what makes you happy. Not your kid, spouse, partner… you.

This type of reflection helps you... help your child.

Defining what gives you joy and makes you happy in life is the first step towards a less anxious parenting experience.

Have a great weekend!

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