Flush a Negative Future

How to Flush Negative Future Thinking

When our kids face complex problems—whether a diagnosis, mental health challenges, or behavioral issues—worrying about their future and our family's future is natural. Parents everywhere share this concern. It's normal. But if all you do is dwell on a doomed future with no way out, you're in a dark place. You might think your future thinking isn’t out of control or that it’s not that bad. I understand; it's hard to confront your thoughts and accept them for what they are.

We all want our kids to be free from their problems. We wish they didn't have to deal with autism, dyslexia, or any other challenges. But they do. These conditions are part of your child, but they don't define your child or your future.

The Impact of Negative Future Thinking

Excessive negative future thinking stimulates our primitive brain, which is rooted in fear. This hyper-focus on past and future experiences is based solely on outdated past events. Past information isn't real-time, factual information. It’s a story we tell ourselves about our traumatic past. Using past evidence to shape our future isn't truthful to ourselves or our children. We're reliving past trauma and projecting it onto our future, which is understandably stressful and exhausting.

The Consequences for Your Child

When you constantly worry about the future, you prevent your brain from processing and enjoying the present moment. You train your brain to live in a constant state of fear, stunting your child's growth and development by holding them back based on your fears. You miss out on your child's childhood by focusing on an invented future that may or may not arrive. This ongoing focus on past events triggers more fear, allowing a victim mindset to take hold, and making it difficult to see your child for who they can be despite their diagnosis.

Winning the War on Future Thinking

The first step is recognizing which past and future unproductive thoughts have a grip on you. Write them down and face the truth; your reality is always kinder than what you believe. Once you have written them down, ponder the three comments below:

Winning the war on future thinking requires three things:

1. Recognize you aren’t the person you were yesterday. If you yelled at your kid or had an argument with their teacher, that was yesterday.
2. Understand you aren't the person you will be tomorrow. You can't predict the future and have no idea what tomorrow will bring.
3. Embrace the only truth about parenting: You only have this exact moment with your child so why not enjoy it?

By focusing on the present, you allow yourself and your child to grow and thrive without the burden of past fears and future anxieties.

Embracing the Present Moment

Our children are not defined by the challenges they face, nor are our families defined by our child's diagnosis. As parents, we have the privilege and responsibility to help our children embrace who they are and guide them on the complex path ahead. It's understandable to feel overwhelmed and fearful, but when our parenting focus is shrouded in fear, we lose sight of our most important job: ensuring our kids are okay just as they are.

The only way to get a hold of your fear of the future is by facing it. By acknowledging your fears and letting go of unproductive past experiences, you can start embracing the present moment because the shroud of fear is lifted. Essentially, your fear can’t hurt you anymore because you’ve called it out. The present moment is where you can truly connect with and support your child, celebrating their unique journey and growth.

The present moment is exactly where your child waits for you. Are you willing to do what it takes to get there? 

Much Love,

Americ

For more information on how to win the war on future thinking check out:   www.conquerparenting.com